Today I will be writing something a bit more personal. I lost someone very special in my life last week, and I haven’t taken any time to really process it.
It’s not an easy thing to do. Grief is messy and hard to feel, but it’s a necessary part of the healing process.
I am inviting you to process anything or anyone you’re grieving for alongside me today.
While I will be processing in the form of a letter, it’s up to you to decide what will work best in your situation. Remember, it is okay to be sad and it is okay to acknowledge that sadness, to yourself or others.
Take a deep breath. Let’s begin.
A letter to my Great Grandma
Dear Great Grandma,
I can’t believe we won’t be exchanging letters anymore. I kept having hope that you would get better. And even though it was unlikely, I kept hoping you would get to go back home and carry on like you always had.
I’m sorry that I didn’t call while you were still doing well enough to talk. I wanted to, I really did. But I didn’t know what to say.
I didn’t want to mess up our last conversation, so we didn’t get to have it.
I didn’t want to tell you about why I was leaving school because I didn’t want you to worry about me. Because I didn’t know what my plans were in terms of going back, I felt like a giant disappointment. You valued education and always told me that an education is something no one could take away from me.
I was worried about what you would think if I decided not to go back.
(I am going back though.)
I’ll miss family gatherings with you. I’m really going to miss the excitement of getting letters from you.
When I was a child, we were at the beach together and all I wanted was to chase the seagulls. I kept saying to you, “Hurry, hurry!” I wanted to catch them so badly.
Now, I wish I could tell my past self to just slow down. There’s no need to hurry things along. You don’t have forever with the ones you love, so you’ve got to make it count.
We will be okay, but we all miss you every day.
You will forever be my favorite pen pal.
Love always,
Danna