Self Care Archives - Musings by Danna

5 Best Self-Care Habits to Implement this Fall

I can’t believe that it’s finally Fall in this half of the world! I love Fall personally. It’s starting to cool down here, although it never gets too cold in Florida really.

Today I am going to be sharing with you five habits that I want to implement this Fall. Let me know in the comments if you will be trying out any of these this Fall or if you have any other ideas you would like to try out!

1. Spend more time being active.

I am so happy that the weather is cooling off (at least a little bit)! This means I can spend time in the great outdoors being active. My day job is as an elementary school teacher and I am enjoying recess with my students a whole lot more now that the weather is cooler.

I am also taking lots of time to play with my dog. Her name is Mia and she is a 1 year old blue merle goldendoodle puppy. She is wonderful and I love her so much! She has brought me so much joy these past few months since she was rehomed to me in May. We are still working on her leash skills but I am excited to be able to take her on more, longer walks.

I am also planning to start a gym membership soon! I am really excited to get back into the gym. I used to exercise all the time. Honestly, I was exercising way too much at one point in my life. But now, I have decided to embrace joyful movement versus trying to make my body look any certain way.

2. Spend time in my journal.

I have had the same journal for a couple years now. I got it from my grandparents a couple years back. While it’s not necessary to have a pretty journal, I do honestly believe that it can make it easier to get yourself motivated to journal with a pretty journal.

Journaling is integral to my self-care. It helps me to process my thoughts and get things out of my head when I am feeling overwhelmed. Don’t forget to grab my free journal prompts for mental health from this page if you’re looking for a place to start with journaling, or looking for a way to spruce up your current practice!

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3. Read a good book.

I used to be a voracious reader growing up, but as my mental health has become more complex, I have struggled with concentration which has made it harder for me to enjoy reading. In case any of you have struggled with that as well, here are a few things I have tried to get myself back into reading.

I read poetry. Since there are frequent opportunities to stop, I don’t have to concentrate for long. I read books with shorter chapters for the same reason.

I am also interested in accountability with reading, so I am thinking about starting up a book club again. It helps me to know that someone is going to know whether I read or not, and they’re going to care. I love discussing books so I want to be able to contribute.

4. Take a moment to reconnect with yourself.

For me, this often looks like meditating. I personally am a huge fan of Insight Timer. I use certain meditation music tracks from them for different situations. It is often helpful for me to get to sleep at night.

Something I am wanting to implement more of would be breathwork. This is a somatic practice that helps to release energy in your body. I have tried a couple pre-recorded sessions with Meleah from https://www.meleahrose.com/about and I highly recommend her sessions.

5. Give yourself permission to be creative.

This is something I have been working on a lot recently. It can be hard for me to be creative because of my perfectionistic nature, but I truly love my creative side and don’t want to dampen it due to perfectionism. I am working to challenge those thoughts.

One of the biggest ways I am creative is through my pen palling. I have pen pals all over the world and I enjoy getting to decorate their letters and write about what has been going on since we last spoke. It is truly one of the best hobbies I have ever had.

Another way I aim to be more creative this Fall is by taking time to draw on a more regular basis. I recently found my sketchbook and have been wanting to try out some new techniques. I have no formal training in art, but enjoy it nonetheless.

In conclusion

I hope you will join me in trying out some new habits this fall! Whether you plan to follow along with my habits or try your own thing, let me know how it goes. I would love to hear about it.

We can always continue our discussion in my Facebook group.

Recognizing Red Flags in a Relationship

Have you been looking to get better at recognizing red flags in a relationship? If so, you’re in the right place.

Today, we’re going to be discussing red flags for all types of relationships because it’s not only romantic relationships that can be toxic.

Let’s dive in and discuss these traits to watch out for.

They’re controlling.

If someone else is in control of your life, it’s going to make it very difficult to be happy. Some things a person may try to control are:

Who you spend time with or talk to
Where you go
Your career path or major in college
What you do with your free time

When you find this happening, it’s important to think about what you want in life. Are your desires in line with your actions? If not, it may be time for a change.

They’re emotionally manipulative.

Consistently feeling guilty is a huge red flag in a relationship. Even in healthy relationships, you may feel guilt on occasion. However, it is not a consistent feeling that comes up when you think about a healthy relationship.

This guilt isn’t coming from nowhere. It is what the manipulative person is using to keep you “in line”, so to speak. If they can make you feel guilty, then they have more leverage to manipulate you into doing what they want.

They seem unable to control their anger.

Many toxic or abusive people are, in fact, able to control their anger. You can see this by the fact that they do not act this way around everyone they meet every time they are angry. This would suggest that an abusive person chooses to take their anger out on the person they’re abusing.

Even if you truly believe that someone is unable to control their anger and that they are trying their best, you are under no obligation to stay in that relationship, whether it is romantic, platonic, or familial. You are not required to wait around for them to change.

They may change.

They may not.

You are not responsible for their feelings. They may try to guilt you into continuing contact that you do not want. I want you to know that there are always options.

They blame you for things that aren’t your fault.

Blaming you for things that aren’t your fault is a definite red flag in a relationship. This is generally used to make you feel bad about yourself and not trust your decisions.

It can be challenging to trust your decisions if something is always said to be your fault after you make a decision.

For example, if you make a decision to take your child to the playground and they fall and get hurt, you may get blamed for that since it was your decision to take your kid to the playground in the first place. Then, you start to question if you made a bad decision.

This can result in you not trusting yourself to make future decisions, which can make you feel dependent on the other person. In a toxic or abusive relationship, they will want you to feel dependent on them. It will give them more control.

Their apologies are not sincere.

This can look a few different ways. One way it may look is them saying something along the lines of, “I’m sorry, but…”

They may also say something like, “I’m sorry you feel that way” in response to you bringing up a concern about their behavior.

Or, they may use the apology to guilt you by saying, “I’m sorry I am such a horrible person.”

None of these are real apologies. They may legitimately believe they are real apologies, but they don’t contain the components of a real apology.

So, then what are the components of a real apology?

Take responsibility for your actions – Tell the person you hurt that you are sorry.
Make it clear what you’re apologizing for – Tell them specifically what you are sorry for, such as making a rude comment at dinner.
Focus on how you hurt the other person, not your intention – Even if you didn’t intend to hurt them, you should not make statements like “Well, you know I didn’t mean anything by that comment.” Instead, focus on their feelings and perspective, saying something like “I understand why my comment at dinner was hurtful. I shouldn’t have said it.”
State how you plan to act differently in the future – This is where you state your intent to change to avoid hurting them in the same way in the future. For example, “I won’t comment negatively on your body in the future.”
In many cases, ask for forgiveness – You don’t want to demand forgiveness, but it is okay to kindly let the person know that you’re open to receiving it when and if they are ready to give it. Understand that they are not required to forgive you.

If these components are not present in the apologies you receive, they are likely not very sincere. While everyone makes mistakes with apologizing once in a while, if it is consistently happening, that is one of the major red flags in a relationship,

They gaslight you.

In other words, they try to make you question your reality. They may say things such as, “I never said that.” even if they did say exactly that. Or they may also say, “You’re just being so overdramatic.” which can lead you to question the severity of the situation.

Many of the above topics are also more specific examples of gaslighting. Sometimes people just want to have control over you, but it is not okay if you are being treated this way.

So, what can you do?

I feel as though the decision of what to do if you find yourself in any kind of relationship that is toxic is a very personal decision. You are the one who will ultimately have to live with the results.

However, if you have a desire to leave such a relationship, there are resources that can support you. Reach out to your local domestic violence shelter if the relationship is becoming abusive and is romantic in nature. If you are in the United States, you can find a very useful resource here with a hotline you can call, text, or chat with online.

I would highly recommend speaking with someone outside the situation. By this, I mean someone who doesn’t know the other person so it is way less likely that it would get back to them.

Make sure you are taking care of yourself and that you are safe, okay?

Final thoughts

It is not your fault if someone is treating you badly, but there are things you can do to help prevent it from happening in future relationships.

Mostly, this looks like setting strong boundaries from the beginning of a relationship (any kind of relationship) so that you know up front that they are more likely to be respectful of your boundaries.

If you are interested in doing some further work on this, learning how to set boundaries is one thing we can cover in private, 1:1 self-care coaching. Please feel free to reach out to me at danna@musingsbydanna.com with any questions about this program.

Until next time,

Danna

How To Create An Evening Routine You’ll Actually Stick To

Who else here struggles to stick to a routine? I know it can’t just be me. Today I am going to walk you through some tips to creating an evening routine you’ll actually stick to.

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Why create an evening routine?

Structure – Evening routines can help you develop more structure to your life in these chaotic times we’re living in.
Sleep – You will sleep better if you create a purposeful evening routine to help you get to sleep.
Me time – If you schedule time aside to spend on yourself, you are much more likely to do self-care.

Parts of an evening routine

The parts of an evening routine are flexible and pretty much up to you. Here are a few things that I would personally recommend including.

Self-care time

This is when you should be doing things you enjoy doing. Think about what your hobbies are. Think of things that you don’t usually have the time for. This is when we are going to make time for those things.

Some things that people do for this are reading, art activities like painting or scrapbooking, or even crocheting. There are so many possibilities. It’s up to you to decide the best activities for yourself.

Prepare for the next day

This includes things such as cleaning up so you don’t wake up to a messy kitchen, setting out your clothes the night before, and planning out your next day.

This will result in a smoother morning which will make your entire next day go so much better. I highly recommend including this step. Even though it may seem small, it really does make a big difference.

Gratitude

Take time to reflect on your day. What are you grateful for? What went well? If you would like to dig into more gratitude exercises, I have a whole post about gratitude journaling here.

Hygiene routine

You’ll want to make sure you schedule in time for any hygiene-related activities you do before bed. These are things such as showering, a skincare routine, and brushing your teeth.

You may be used to doing these sorts of things right before bed, but it would be more effective to do some relaxation exercises right before bed.

Relaxation and wind down time

Your relaxation and wind down time is when you will be doing things that will help you to feel calmer so that you will have a better chance of falling asleep. You may be interested in trying some mindfulness activities for this, which I think is a great idea.

One really useful mindfulness activity for sleep is meditation. I really like Yoga Nidra guided meditations for sleep, which you can find on Insight Timer. If you’re interested in reading more about meditation, I have a post about it here.

You may also consider yoga. Yoga with Adriene on YouTube has a lot of excellent videos. I don’t do yoga very frequently (though I would like to) so I am not sure how many of her videos are more about exercise versus sleep, but I do know she has some relaxing ones.

Warm tea is another excellent option to wind down. Make sure you get something decaffeinated and that it has no contraindications with any medications you may be taking. My favorite is lavender and lemon balm tea. (If you choose this option, I highly recommend brushing your teeth again.)

If you aren’t into any of the above suggestion for relaxation, you can always at least practice some deep breathing. If you have other relaxation ideas, I would love to hear them! Comment on this post or feel free to email me. My contact information can be found here.

Go to bed

And finally, it’s time to end the day and go to sleep. Get comfortable and catch some zzz’s.

Sleep hygiene tips

Follow these tips for a more restful night’s sleep.

Limit caffeine intake. Avoid it entirely at least 6 hours before bedtime. Caffeine is a stimulant that can keep you awake. In case you didn’t know, it’s in chocolate too.
Go to bed and get up at the same time every day. This kind of consistency keeps your circadian rhythm in check.
Avoid using the bed for activities other than sleep. Your brain will associate your bed with the activities you do there, so if you work on homework in bed, your brain will think it’s time to be focused when you are trying to sleep.
Stay off electronics for at least two hours before bedtime. The blue light can keep you awake.
Avoid intense exercise for the two hours leading up to bedtime. However, light exercise such as walking, stretching, and most yoga exercises are unlikely to have an impact on sleep so they should be fine.

My new evening routine

So, I haven’t been following much of an evening routine lately even though I know I do better when I am in a routine. That needs to change. Here is the evening routine I am committing to trying for one week.

7:15 – Self-care time

I will be using this as my time to be creative. Some of the activities I may engage in include writing letters, art journaling, making friendship bracelets, or drawing.

8:00 – Prepare for the next day

I have been really into bullet journaling for a while now. I’m not particularly artistic, but it’s the functionality of the bullet journal system that appeals to me.

I will use this time to review any appointments I have written down for the following day, jot down a quick to do list, and get out my clothes for the next day.

8:15 – Gratitude

I will be using a method called GLAD Journaling to reflect on my day and practice gratitude. Basically, you write one thing you’re grateful for that day, one thing you learned, one thing you accomplished, and one delight.

More information on GLAD Journaling can be found in my post on gratitude journaling here.

8:30 – Hygiene time

This will be quick for me as I currently shower in the mornings. I will just need to brush my teeth, wash my face, and moisturize.

8:40 – Relaxation and wind down time

I will be using this time to do meditation. Like I mentioned before, I have really been enjoying Yoga Nidra on Insight Timer. I am sure there are also some excellent recordings on YouTube.

9:00 – Go to bed

I plan to be in bed at 9 pm every night. Hopefully I will be able to fall asleep quickly after the relaxation part of my evening routine. If I can’t, I will play some lo-fi music to help me fall asleep.

Final thoughts

I will be trying out this new routine for a week starting next Monday. I would love it if you would share your evening routine or try out a new one with me!

Until next time,

Danna

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Self Care on a Budget

For many of us, our wallet has gotten lighter recently due to the current situation. Today, I will be walking you through how to keep up with your self care on a budget.

But first, there’s something you need to do.

Make a budget

I know, it sounds obvious. But if you’ve never sat down and made a budget, there are a lot of things you could miss.

How to make a budget

My favorite way to budget is to create categories of things I may need or want to spend money on and then allot each category an amount of money based on my total amount I can spend for the month.

There are a lot more categories than one might think, so it’s important to honestly evaluate where you know you will spend money.

Let’s consider some categories.

Rent or dorm expenses
Electricity/Water/Sewer
Wifi
Cable
Groceries
Gas
Pet expenses
Health insurance
Car insurance
Phone bill
Money for hobbies
Money for miscellaneous fun things

Consider how much money you have total each month. Then, for each of those bills that apply to you and are essential, write in the amount you expect to spend. It is better to overestimate your expenses, rather than to underestimate.

Once you have the essential bills covered, see how much you have left over for hobbies or fun things.

At the end of the month, if you spent less than you thought you would, you can transfer a bit of money to your savings account so that you have a little extra money in case something goes wrong.

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Physical self care on a budget

There are so many ways to take care of yourself on a budget. People tend to focus on one area of self care and leave out others, but part of self care is being balanced.

Taking care of your body is something people tend to think is expensive, but it doesn’t have to be. Here are a few examples of ways you can practice physical self care on a budget:

Get outside: You could take a walk. You could go hiking or kayaking. Getting outside is a great way to soak up that vitamin D and get a mood boost.
Free online exercise videos: If you miss going to the gym, consider trying some free exercise videos online. There are lots of free videos on Youtube for all different types of exercise. I also have an app called FitOn with free exercise videos.
Work on your sleep habits: Do you bring your phone to bed? Are you staying up all night when you could be sleeping? Try to adjust your routine to allow for some time to wind down before bed. Make sure you’re getting 7-9 hours of sleep.

Mental self care on a budget

Journal: Take some time to pour your thoughts out onto the page. A daily practice of journaling is best, but even weekly will make a difference. I have a couple posts about journaling. You can find the one about gratitude journaling here and the one about journaling for anxiety here.
Read for pleasure: Find what kind of book speaks to your soul. Reading is a great distraction, whether you are reading fiction or nonfiction. It allows you to escape to another world and temporarily not worry about this one.
Group therapy: This option is almost certainly not going to be free, but it is usually significantly cheaper per session than individual therapy. You may also want to look into sliding scales for individual therapy. It is definitely still not the cheapest thing, but it can make therapy significantly more affordable.
Therapy workbooks: You can get a therapy workbook at a bookstore or online. The down side is you do need to know what you’re looking for to some degree. However, for example, if you know you want to work on anxious thoughts, you may be able to find a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) workbook for anxiety.

Spiritual self care on a budget

Meditate: There’s lots of ways you can do meditation. You can read more about different meditation practices here. My favorite way to meditate is to use guided meditations. You can find some on Youtube. My favorite app to use for meditation is Insight Timer.
Find a hobby you’re passionate about: For some, this may be drawing. For others, it could be scrapbooking. My favorite hobby is writing letters. It brings me a lot of joy and I would encourage you to find something that brings you that much joy.
Try yoga: There are plenty of free videos online that can help you get started. All you will really need is a mat and potentially some blocks for certain poses, but you can start with just getting a mat. You will also need some comfortable clothes that have some stretch to them. If you don’t have any, consider shopping secondhand.

Additional tips for college students

Consider what your college may include with your tuition. Schools usually have some options to help students with their mental health. Here are just a few of the things that many schools include:

A gym: That’s right, you can work out in a gym without paying a monthly membership fee.
Individual counseling services: I honestly believe most schools don’t offer enough, but you can usually get 6-12 sessions for free depending on the school. If you have something really specific you need to work on, it may be enough.
Group counseling services: From my experience, colleges usually provide significantly more group sessions than individual sessions. They are likely to be on a wide range of topics.
A dietitian: This can be a huge difference for students with eating disorders. I do believe they can help anyone who is struggling with things surrounding food, whether they have an eating disorder or not. Not all colleges have this option, but many do.
Life coaching: Not all schools have this, but some have an option where you can work with a life coach for a semester or longer. I think this is a great option for a lot of people, especially those who don’t feel comfortable with the idea of therapy but need someone supportive in their life.
Student health services: Most schools have some sort of health services for students. This is important if you become ill while away at school or if you just need a routine exam completed. Different schools have different levels of care that they offer, so be sure to check what your school offers.
Campus events: They aren’t really happening right now, but when they do, there are a lot of resources you can take advantage of. Most campus events have free food. They also often give away small items like stress balls that could be used for self care. It’s a great time to socialize with others, too. There are also sometimes events with therapy dogs, especially around exam time.

Some final thoughts about self care on a budget

This list is by no means exhaustive. There are always options out there that can help you.

If you feel as though you need immediate help and you are located in the US, please reach out to the suicide prevention hotline at 1 (800) 273-8255. You can also reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting SHARE to 741741. Both of these options are free as long as you are able to place calls or send and receive text messages on your phone.

As always, please share this post on social media if you enjoyed it. Don’t forget to sign up for my email list below to receive seventeen free journal prompts for mental health.

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How To Create A Morning Routine

Today, I would like to share with you how to create a morning routine by walking you through how I am creating my own new morning routine.

For those of you who don’t know, I recently moved for school. Between moving and school, a lot will be changing for me, so it’s time to revamp my morning routine.

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Why create a morning routine?

Some of you may not be know why you should create a morning routine. Why do the same things every day? Here are a few of my reasons:

It can be a time saver. You can get everything you want done quicker because there’s no debate about what to do next.
It helps you incorporate healthy practices into your day. When you have a routine, you are more likely to do these things regularly.
It allows you make time for what matters. If you schedule time for it regularly, it must be important to you.

My new morning routine

My morning routine will have to change to adapt to my new schedule. With that being said, remember that it is important to frequently evaluate your routine and make sure it is serving you.

Here are the things I plan to do daily in my morning routine:

Journaling

I want to journal every morning to just get all my thoughts out so I can go about my day with less stress.

For me, this will look like a practice called Morning Pages, which comes from the book “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron. I haven’t actually read this book yet, but I have heard a lot about this practice and I would like to try it.

Essentially, it is three pages of stream of consciousness writing that you do when you wake up in the morning.

Of course, there are plenty of other journaling practices one could do in the morning. Some can be found in my post on gratitude journaling.

Take my medication

This is an essential part of my daily routine. I have to take my medication in the morning, afternoon, and at bedtime.

For people who struggle with their mental health, finding the right medication or combination of medications can be essential to recovery.

I would encourage you to search on Psychology Today if you are in need of a psychiatrist to prescribe medications. They also have directories for therapists and group therapy if you are in need.

Plan my day

For me, this looks like bullet journaling. For others, it may look like using a planner or time blocking on Google Calendar.

This keeps me on track to get everything that I need done so that I don’t miss any tasks, small or large.

I like to color code when I plan, so I will have different colors of pens for different types of tasks. Each of my classes starting later this month will likely get its own color assigned to it.

Eat breakfast

I never miss breakfast. It’s so important to your physical and mental health to be eating enough and part of that is getting in all your meals and snacks.

When I was younger, I struggled with an eating disorder. Part of not falling back into that is to make eating all my meals a non-negotiable habit.

I feel so much healthier now that I allow myself to eat whenever I feel hungry. Hunger is not the enemy. It’s just a signal from your body that you need food. It’s okay and even necessary to listen to that signal.

Take care of my dog

I am training a service dog to help me with my mental health. Her name is Lily. I walk her at night usually because it’s so hot during the day this time of year, but I still have to take her out and feed her in the morning.

I also like to give her some play time. She has a toy fox that she loves.

While training takes place randomly throughout the day, I do like to do some targeted training daily. Her training with tasks to assist me is going great, but we still need some work on public access skills since we haven’t been leaving the house except for essentials lately.

Follow my Instagram @musingsbydanna if you’d like to see Lily! I will be posting some videos of her soon, hopefully.

Exercise

This will be a new habit for me as well. I used to over-exercise when I had an eating disorder, so I will be monitoring this morning habit closely to make sure it stays healthy.

I got workout clothes today since I didn’t have any, so I am one step closer to starting this habit.

The benefits of exercise are more than just physical. I am much more concerned with how exercising may be able to help with my depression. I know I always feel better even after just taking a walk, so I am hoping that adding in an actual workout will make the benefits greater and longer lasting.

Shower and get ready for my day

Showering can be hard for those of us who have experienced trauma. If this is something you’re struggling with, I would highly recommend two things. First, wear an oversized shirt or swimsuit that you can wash under while you shower. Second, listen to something calming during your shower.

I am usually the type of person to shower at night, but with adding in a morning workout, I feel like a morning shower is going to be pretty important.

Then, I will move on to getting dressed and ready!

A final note on morning routines

Your morning routine doesn’t have to look like mine though. You should customize it to look exactly how you want!

Feel free to email me (my contact info can be found here) and let me know what you have done to create a morning routine or exercise routine that you love.

As always, please share this post on social media if you enjoyed it. And don’t forget to sign up for my email list below! I will be letting everyone on my email list know how this new routine is going soon.

Until next time,

Danna

Don't forget to subscribe to our email list for weekly updates from Musings by Danna, plus 17 free journal prompts for mental health!

5 Tips for Dealing with Depression

Depression can be difficult to cope with. Today, I would like to share with you my top five tips for dealing with depression.

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1. Get the right amount of sleep.

This means getting enough sleep. It also means not letting yourself sleep too much. Staying in bed all day can have a really negative impact on your mood.

You’ll want to have some sort of evening routine to get your brain prepared for sleep. It doesn’t have to be a long routine. I will be talking more about evening routines in a coming post.

Avoiding depression naps will be very important. You don’t have to 100% abstain from napping, but you will want to limit it to when you are actually sleepy and feel like it will help you.

You’ll have to pay attention to your own body to learn when you are tired and need sleep versus when you are experiencing fatigue due to depression.

Getting the right amount of sleep is definitely one of my top tips for dealing with depression. It’s not always going to happen, but it’s important to do your best to stay balanced in this area.

2. Set and work toward goals.

These goals should be yours. They should not be focused on what others want or need from you.

They don’t need to be big either. Sometimes making a to-do list for the day and accomplishing some of it will count.

Your goals may be things you need to do, such as take a shower, do the dishes or take your medication. It’s okay if those feel like really huge goals when you’re depressed.

They may also be goals that you want to do like getting back into an old hobby or starting a new one.

3. Stay in contact with people you care about.

In other words, don’t isolate yourself. This can be super challenging when you feel depressed, which is why it’s one of my tips for dealing with depression.

It’s hard to talk to people when you’re depressed for a couple of reasons. First, you don’t have the energy. Second, you may not want them to see you feeling bad because you feel embarrassed or are worried they will be upset or judge you.

It’s important to challenge the beliefs you have surrounding these ideas. You need to remind yourself that people love you and want you around. It’s okay to be depressed and still be seen.

Try to make sure you’re reaching out to at least one person outside your household every day. If a phone call feels like too much, you can try a text.

Schedule out your social time so you can be properly rested and prepared for it. It’s okay to schedule phone calls with friends ahead of time. If they’re a good friend, they will understand.

4. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.

This is a great strategy when you’re feeling overwhelmed by a large or seemingly large task.

You can use this for things like chores you have to do, school work, or really anything.

This allows you to work for fifteen minutes and then take a break, so you don’t feel worried or overwhelmed by the entire task or set of tasks ahead of you. If fifteen minutes is too much for you at this time, try ten minutes or even five.

Getting anything done is better than getting nothing done.

You can also use this to try out a coping skill. Set your timer (depending on the skill, you may have to adjust the amount of time) and try it out. When your timer ends, evaluate how you’re feeling and if this skill seems to be helping.

If it didn’t help, you can switch to a different coping skill. If it seems to be helping, try to continue doing it for a bit longer.

5. Do things you enjoy without having to earn them.

Doing things you enjoy may sounds simple to some, but it can be really hard when you have depression for a couple of reasons. First, you may struggle to come up with the energy to get started. Second, you may not enjoy things the way you used to.

If you’re struggling with energy, I recommend trying the technique above about setting a fifteen minute timer. It won’t give you more energy, but it may allow you to change your mindset around the activity long enough to try it.

If you aren’t enjoying things, sometimes it’s just a matter of sticking with it. Keep trying to add small enjoyable activities to your days and don’t be afraid to try something new.

Another thing I want you to notice is that I said “without having to earn them”. This means you can’t just use enjoyable activities as a reward. You need to be actively building them into your schedule.

It’s important to allow yourself to do things you enjoy, especially when you’re depressed. Try not to feel guilty about all the “more productive” things you could be doing. Life is not all about who can be the most productive.

Some final thoughts

Depression is difficult to cope with. I hope these tips for dealing with depression will give you some new ideas of things you can do to improve your mood.

Depression is not a moral failure. There is nothing you did to deserve it. It isn’t your fault, but there are things you can do to fight back.

You’re going to get through this.

I hope you enjoyed this post and found it helpful! If you did, please consider leaving a comment or sharing a link on your social media. You can find my contact info here. And don’t forget to sign up for my email list below!

Until next time,

Danna

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Distraction Coping Skills: The Coping Box Series Part 3

Welcome to part three of my series on creating a coping box! Today’s installment is about distraction coping skills.

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What are distraction coping skills?

Distraction coping skills are used when it is too difficult to face your emotions in the current moment. They are used to de-escalate your feelings to a level that is safe for you to deal with.

It is not advised to only use distraction coping skills because at some point you do need to process your emotions and allow yourself to feel.

However, it is a good option to have these skills for when expressive coping skills feel too overwhelming to think about.

Distraction coping skills for a coping box

Here are a few examples of distraction coping skills that you can put in a coping box:

Mind puzzles: Think of games like sudoku or crossword puzzles. These require a lot of mental energy to complete and therefore are a great distraction. My favorite are word searches.
Friendship bracelet supplies or other craft supplies: These keep your hands busy which is a great way to distract yourself.
Playlist of songs: It’s important to pick songs for your playlist that won’t keep you stuck in your unhappy state. Think of songs that make you feel like singing and dancing. Add those songs.
Gift cards: If you have a tendency to want to buy things when you’re sad, this can be a really good idea because it keeps you on a budget. You can only spend the amount on the gift card, so you aren’t going to spend money you don’t really have. You can buy a few gift cards here and there for yourself if it’s in your budget, or you could save any you get as gifts from others.
Book or religious text: Reading can be a great distraction from your current situation. Whether you prefer fiction, nonfiction, or religious texts, it’s a great way to keep your mind occupied and allow those difficult feelings to pass.
Playing cards: Teach yourself some new card tricks or learn how to play solitaire if you don’t already know.
Rubik’s cube: You can teach yourself the algorithm to solve it quickly if you want and see how fast you can get, or do it the long way if you’re not interested in learning an algorithm. It keeps your hands and mind occupied.
Write activities down on color coded popsicle sticks: I have activities color coded by what unpleasant emotion I want to go away. For example, calling a friend helps when I am feeling lonely. Make all the popsicle sticks for loneliness the same color so you can draw whatever color/feeling you are hoping to alleviate. This is good for activities that don’t really fit inside your coping box.

Some final thoughts

Thanks for joining me on this journey of creating a coping box. I hope you have found some new ideas that work for you.

Make sure to try and include things from each section (expressive, sensory, and distraction) in your coping box.

Did you miss one of the other posts in this series? You can find expressive coping skills here, and sensory coping skills here.

I hope you enjoyed this final part in my series on creating a coping box. As always, please leave a comment or share a link on social media if you enjoyed this post. You can always contact me here.

Until next time,

Danna

Don't forget to subscribe to our email list for weekly updates from Musings by Danna, plus 17 free journal prompts for mental health!

Sensory Coping Skills: The Coping Box Series Part 2

Sensory coping skills are a great thing to add to your coping box! There are so many options for what you could use, so today I will introduce you to a few.

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What are sensory coping skills?

Sensory coping skills are used to calm and ground oneself. Instead of focusing on expressing yourself, like we did in the last post, these coping skills are focused on the five senses.

These skills are great when you are feeling overwhelmed and need to calm down.

Sensory coping skills for a coping box

Here are some examples of sensory coping skills that you can keep in a coping box:

Lotion: This is great for tactile stimulation. Plus, you can choose lotions that smell good. You can use it to give yourself a gentle hand or foot massage while you rub it in as well.
Bath bomb: For those of you who find baths relaxing and have a bathtub where you live, this could be a great option. I have always wanted to try one!
Hard candies: These are a useful tool to give yourself a strong flavor to focus on. Make sure you keep them in a Ziploc or other closed container in case they melt as well as to avoid bugs.
Essential oils: There are many essential oils designed to be calming, such as lavender. Make sure to buy a quality brand, especially if you intend to apply it to your skin.
Stress ball: A personal favorite of mine! There are different versions. The one I currently use is shown in the picture above. It’s just a small, squishy stuffed buddy that I think was designed to clip on to a backpack or bag. Bonus points for this one because it’s bubble gum scented!
Fuzzy socks: I have so many pairs of fuzzy socks and I love them! They’re also great to seal in lotion if you applied it to your feet.
Play-Doh/Slime: The texture of Play-Doh and slime are very different, but both extremely satisfying. There are recipes online for how to make your own if you don’t have any.
Fidget spinner: A lot of people have had great luck with these for helping them stay calm in the midst of anxiety.
Spin top: There’s something immensely satisfying about spinning these and watching them go!

Some final thoughts

It’s great to have a mix of coping skills in your box, so try to pick a variety of things from different categories, such as expressive, sensory, and distraction. I will be talking about distraction coping skills in my next post.

Let me know if there are any other sensory coping skills you keep around that work well for you! You can find my contact info here.

I hope you enjoyed this second part of my series on putting together a coping box. As always, please leave a comment or share a link on social media if you enjoyed this post.

Until next time,

Danna

Don't forget to subscribe to our email list for weekly updates from Musings by Danna, plus 17 free journal prompts for mental health!

Expressive Coping Skills: The Coping Box Series Part 1

A coping box is a great thing to have when you need it. They’re great for when you find yourself overwhelmed by anxiety or depression. Today, I will be introducing expressive coping skills you can keep in your coping box.

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What is a coping box?

A coping box is what you would expect. It’s a box that has different coping skills ready for you to use.

It doesn’t really need to be a box. I have also used a bag in the past.

The coping skills may be expressive, sensory, or distraction-focused. It would be good to have a mix of all three. This post will be focused on the expressive skills.

Making a coping box

Making a coping box can be part of the fun! It’s nice to go back to something that you made and are proud of when you are struggling.

When I made mine (pictured above), I was given the box as part of a group therapy that I participated in. I then took it home and decorated it to bring back to our next meeting.

You should be able to find a box similar to mine at most craft stores. I painted it a happy color and then collaged it with magazine cut outs when the paint was dry. As a finishing touching, I added glitter Mod Podge.

Of course, you can decorate yours however you like. Just make sure the decorations are positive and conducive to recovery.

Expressive skills for a coping box

There are so many things you can put in your coping box! It’s a great way to have many materials you need for coping in one place.

Here are some examples of expressive coping skills/items you can have in your coping box:

Journal and a pen: This is a great way to be able to express your feelings by writing them down in something that you get to put away at the end.
Sketch pad and pencils: If you’re into art, this may be a great coping skill for you. Even if you aren’t, you’d be surprised at what can come out when you allow yourself to let go and try.
Collaging supplies: If you have some old magazines, you can cut out pictures and words that catch your eye. Then, you can store it in your box to collage with.
Journal prompts in a jar: If you can find a small jar, you can use it to collect journal prompts that you find online and print out or write down. This way, if you feel stuck when you want to try journaling, you have something to go off of. There are lots of great ideas on Pinterest.
Stationery: Stationery is one of my favorite things! I love to write letters to people. If you’re interested in writing letters to someone else or your future self, stationery is a great idea!
Paint: Try to find some small paints that will be easy to store in your box. I prefer acrylics because they dry quickly, but whatever paint you like will be a good choice. You can store small canvases or paper that can be painted on in your box.
Photography scavenger hunt: This one could be a lot of fun! Make a list of open-ended prompts for a photography scavenger hunt and put the list in your box. This could be as simple as taking a photo of something with a certain color or shape. It’s up to you how you get creative with the photos afterwards.

Some final thoughts on expressive coping skills

Most likely, all of these items will not fit in your box, especially once you start adding items from the next two categories.

That’s okay. Pick your favorites. Take what works for you and leave the rest.

I hope you enjoyed the first installment of my series on making a coping box. As always, please leave a comment or share a link on social media if you enjoyed this post. If you want to contact me, you can find my information here.

Until next time,

Danna

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Personalization: The Thinking Errors Series Part 10

We have finally reached the last part in this series on thinking errors! Today, I will be discussing the thinking error of personalization. If you’re new to the concept of thinking errors, also known as cognitive distortions or automatic negative thoughts, please check out the first installment of the series here. It’s on all-or-nothing thinking and will tell you what a thinking error is.

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Personalization

In the thinking error of personalization, you blame yourself for something that wasn’t entirely your fault. You may also find yourself blaming someone else for something that wasn’t entirely their fault.

This negative attribution can make you feel guilty when applied to yourself and disappointed or angry when applied to others.

How to recognize personalization

If your thought is essentially “This is my fault” or “This is their fault” then it may be personalization.

It may be a true statement. What you are blaming yourself for may really be your fault. Rarely does one person hold all the blame for something, though.

Here are some examples of personalization:

It’s my fault that my friends are arguing.
She died because I didn’t do enough.
You’re miserable because of him.
It’s my fault that he failed his test.

Ways to overcome personalization

Half the battle with personalization is learning to determine how true the statement actually is. Then you’ll know if you need to challenge your thought or accept that something was your fault.

Reality check with a trusted person

This is a great technique if you are trying to decide if you are using personalization or if something was actually your fault. You will want to find someone you can trust to be honest with you.

Describe the situation as objectively as you can. Try to leave out words of judgement and state only the facts.

Ask your friend if they think you are blaming yourself or someone else too much. Only use this technique if you know you won’t get mad at your friend for answering honestly.

What would you say to a friend?

Another technique is to imagine what you would say if a friend of yours came to you with the same concern you are having. Would you blame them the same way you are blaming yourself?

Probably not.

Even if you would still think they were at fault, you probably wouldn’t think they were a terrible person. If you are to blame for a situation, own up to it and learn from it rather than judging yourself.

I hope you enjoyed my series on thinking errors! I am so happy I was finally able to get this tenth installment written for you. As always, please comment or share a link on social media if you liked this post. If you want to contact me, you can find my info here.

Until next time,

Danna

Don't forget to subscribe to our email list for weekly updates from Musings by Danna, plus 17 free journal prompts for mental health!