depression Archives - Musings by Danna

5 Best Self-Care Habits to Implement this Fall

I can’t believe that it’s finally Fall in this half of the world! I love Fall personally. It’s starting to cool down here, although it never gets too cold in Florida really.

Today I am going to be sharing with you five habits that I want to implement this Fall. Let me know in the comments if you will be trying out any of these this Fall or if you have any other ideas you would like to try out!

1. Spend more time being active.

I am so happy that the weather is cooling off (at least a little bit)! This means I can spend time in the great outdoors being active. My day job is as an elementary school teacher and I am enjoying recess with my students a whole lot more now that the weather is cooler.

I am also taking lots of time to play with my dog. Her name is Mia and she is a 1 year old blue merle goldendoodle puppy. She is wonderful and I love her so much! She has brought me so much joy these past few months since she was rehomed to me in May. We are still working on her leash skills but I am excited to be able to take her on more, longer walks.

I am also planning to start a gym membership soon! I am really excited to get back into the gym. I used to exercise all the time. Honestly, I was exercising way too much at one point in my life. But now, I have decided to embrace joyful movement versus trying to make my body look any certain way.

2. Spend time in my journal.

I have had the same journal for a couple years now. I got it from my grandparents a couple years back. While it’s not necessary to have a pretty journal, I do honestly believe that it can make it easier to get yourself motivated to journal with a pretty journal.

Journaling is integral to my self-care. It helps me to process my thoughts and get things out of my head when I am feeling overwhelmed. Don’t forget to grab my free journal prompts for mental health from this page if you’re looking for a place to start with journaling, or looking for a way to spruce up your current practice!

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3. Read a good book.

I used to be a voracious reader growing up, but as my mental health has become more complex, I have struggled with concentration which has made it harder for me to enjoy reading. In case any of you have struggled with that as well, here are a few things I have tried to get myself back into reading.

I read poetry. Since there are frequent opportunities to stop, I don’t have to concentrate for long. I read books with shorter chapters for the same reason.

I am also interested in accountability with reading, so I am thinking about starting up a book club again. It helps me to know that someone is going to know whether I read or not, and they’re going to care. I love discussing books so I want to be able to contribute.

4. Take a moment to reconnect with yourself.

For me, this often looks like meditating. I personally am a huge fan of Insight Timer. I use certain meditation music tracks from them for different situations. It is often helpful for me to get to sleep at night.

Something I am wanting to implement more of would be breathwork. This is a somatic practice that helps to release energy in your body. I have tried a couple pre-recorded sessions with Meleah from https://www.meleahrose.com/about and I highly recommend her sessions.

5. Give yourself permission to be creative.

This is something I have been working on a lot recently. It can be hard for me to be creative because of my perfectionistic nature, but I truly love my creative side and don’t want to dampen it due to perfectionism. I am working to challenge those thoughts.

One of the biggest ways I am creative is through my pen palling. I have pen pals all over the world and I enjoy getting to decorate their letters and write about what has been going on since we last spoke. It is truly one of the best hobbies I have ever had.

Another way I aim to be more creative this Fall is by taking time to draw on a more regular basis. I recently found my sketchbook and have been wanting to try out some new techniques. I have no formal training in art, but enjoy it nonetheless.

In conclusion

I hope you will join me in trying out some new habits this fall! Whether you plan to follow along with my habits or try your own thing, let me know how it goes. I would love to hear about it.

We can always continue our discussion in my Facebook group.

Six Depression Symptoms You Don’t Know About

Depression can be sneaky. Here are some symptoms of depression that you might not even recognize as being related to depression.

Body aches

Your whole body may just hurt whenever you are depressed. I experience this a lot. I didn’t realize until recently that other people experience this too.

However, it can also be a symptom of physical illness, so make sure to get this checked out by a doctor especially if it is ongoing or concerning to you.

This pain often interferes with my desire to do pretty basic things. I have tried some ways to cope with it such as walking and yoga. While it helps with this symptom of depression, it doesn’t make it go away.

However, it does at least lift my mood, and I can’t complain about that.

A physical feeling of heaviness

This lesser known symptom of depression ties in with the body aches for me. I get a feeling of heaviness in my whole body, but especially in my chest.

It can make it very difficult to want to get up and do anything when it may feel like your whole body is physically weighed down.

I have found that activities that lift my mood even just to being less depressed can help significantly with this symptom of depression. Think of activities that will make you laugh, but don’t take a lot of energy to start such as looking at memes or watching a comedy.

Sensitivity to rejection or criticism

This depression symptom can be very difficult to cope with. The reality is, sometimes we will not meet other people’s standards and we will face rejection and/or criticism sometimes.

However, for people struggling with depression, this can feel like the world is ending. We may feel as though our worst fears about ourselves have been confirmed.

Some of us may even experience Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, or RSD. You can read up on that here.

One way I know of to cope with this depression symptom is to work on your own self-talk and feelings about yourself. If you feel more positively about yourself, you won’t feel like your worst fears are confirmed when you face criticism. This is probably the hardest change for most people to make when they’re dealing with depression.

Fatigue

One of the symptoms of depression is feeling completely exhausted and wiped out. You may feel like there are a million things needing to be done but you can’t work up the energy to even do the most “basic” things, like taking care of your hygiene.

This happens to me a lot. Sometimes I will feel the need to sleep fourteen hours or even more per day. It’s not because I am lazy. I am simply that exhausted. Sleep can also feel safer than being awake for people struggling with depression, so that is something to keep in mind as well.

With this symptom, a big part of it is knowing when giving yourself a break or resting is beneficial and restorative versus when it is causing you to sink deeper into your depression. If it is the first, it is okay to give yourself a break when you need it. If it is the second, try to push yourself to do something small but productive even if it is only for five minutes.

Brain fog

Brain fog is one of the cognitive symptoms of depression. You may experience memory problems or an inability to focus. You may also lack concentration or the ability to think clearly.

I personally experience all four of the subsymptoms of brain fog. I struggle to read or write for long periods of time which is especially challenging as a student and a blogger.

Brain fog can also be related to things other than depression, so I would also recommend talking to a medical professional to rule out other possible causes. Even if it is related to depression, you can still take steps to reduce its impact.

Some of the things I do that are helpful include making sure I get enough rest at night (for me this is at least 9 hours), taking walks or exercising, and making sure I add more nutrient-rich food to my diet when it gets really bad.

Feeling numb

It is often assumed that depression is mostly feeling very sad, but that is not always the case. Sometimes, one of the symptoms of depression is feeling nothing. You may just feel indifferent or numb to the world.

I tend to alternate between the “sadness” type of depression and the “numb” type of depression. Sometimes it is related to medication changes, sometimes it has to do with my circumstances, and sometimes it just is that way.

Some people who do know about this symptom also assume that feeling numb is better than feeling sad, but the truth is, both can be equally awful. Depression is unique to the individual experiencing it in terms of which symptoms feel worse to them.

If you are feeling numb, I recommend you do something that will cause you to feel something, even if it is very temporary and just to show yourself that feelings are still possible. You could watch a funny show or maybe eat your favorite dessert. You could also try getting in touch with nature if that is usually joyful for you. It’s all about feeling something positive, if even for a moment.

Final thoughts

Depression has some symptoms that are less obvious to most people. It’s important to be mindful of these symptoms as well, though.

Keep your coping tools handy and know that you have the power to fight back against depression.

You have more power than you realize.

I would also love for you to check out my 17 Journal Prompts for Mental Health. They can help you learn to cope with many of the symptoms listed above and more!

Until next time,

Danna

Goal Setting For Mental Health

Goal setting is vital to your mental health. If you have no direction, this can greatly increase feelings of depression, hopelessness, and anxiety.

I know that goal setting can be a challenge for some people and some people even feel that it is altogether not right for them. I hope this post helps alleviate some common worries people have around goal setting.

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Goal exploration and choosing goals for mental health

Before you begin setting goals, it is a good idea to examine what is important to you so that the goals you set are relevant to your desires in life. There are a few things to think about with this.

First of all, think about where you see yourself five or even ten years from now. What kind of life is this future you living? If that’s too far into the future to think about, then try thinking about one year in the future.

Second, have you considered goals for different aspects of your life? I tend to base my goals off a welless wheel with seven dimensions. These dimensions are:

Physical
Social
Spiritual
Environmental
Intellectual
Occupational
Emotional

However, you may also create your own categories as you see fit. While it is okay to have the categories not in perfect balance, you can’t let any of the categories slide too far before it starts to impact you negatively. This does not mean you need to set a goal in each category, but you do need to be attending to all of them on a regular basis. You can do this with habits, which we will talk about later.

If this seems like an overwhelming amount of stuff to think about, I really suggest journaling it out. This should help you gain some clarity around what is important to you and what is not.

You can also try another fun journaling exercise to get clear on your goals. Essentially, you just write about your day as if you are the future you who has reached your goals. Write about what you would do every day and what you don’t do anymore. This one can be really eye-opening.

When you feel like you are ready to choose your goals, please remember that you don’t have to do everything at once. It is a better idea to choose 1-3 goals to work on at a time. The specific number will depend on how much time you have to devote to those goals right now and in the near future, how your mental health is doing, and how big each goal is.

You also want to make sure the goals you are choosing are something you have significant control over. One example of a goal you don’t have much control over would be winning the lottery. It would be better to set a goal where you are in the driver’s seat.

Milestones

Milestones are sort of like mini goals that make up your bigger goal. It is common to have monthly and/or quarterly milestones for your goals.

For example, maybe you’re planning a wedding. Your milestone for the first month might be to find a location for the wedding.

Milestones are important for a few reasons.

First, they keep you on track to reach your goal. If you have a long-term goal, this can be especially important since many of us have a tendency to procrastinate.

Second, they allow you to check in with your progress along the way and reward yourself.

Third, they help you plan to ensure that you have enough time set aside to reach your goal.

Habits

Habits are things you can do at regular intervals (meaning daily, weekly, etc.) that move you closer to your goals. Now that you have established a goal or two, let’s think about what you can do regularly to achieve that goal.

For example, if one of your goals is to write a novel this year, perhaps your habit could be to spend one hour per day writing. It could also be to write a certain number of words per day.

You can have multiple habits for the same goal as well. Maybe in addition to your hour per day writing, you also have a weekly research session to research anything you need for upcoming scenes you plan to write the following week.

You can also have habits in areas of your life where you don’t have a specific large goal to work on right now. One example of this could be in the social category. Maybe you make a habit of reaching out to a friend once a week to stay in touch even though you don’t have a specific goal in this area. This is a way you can balance the different dimensions of wellness without overloading yourself with too many goals.

Reward yourself

An important part of setting goals is deciding how you will reward yourself upon completion. There is a vast array of possibilities for this, which makes it possible to customize it to fit your needs.

Maybe you’ll reward yourself by buying yourself that new pair of shoes you’ve been wanting or a new game that just came out. Just make sure the reward isn’t something that you’ve already decided you’re getting either way.

This isn’t to say you can’t do nice things for yourself if you aren’t reaching your goals, but I am suggesting you only have the specific reward you choose if you reach your goal.

You can also use rewards for your milestones and/or for completing a habit for a certain amount of time. For example, if your goal for the year is to write a novel and your goal for the month is to write 15,000 words of that novel, it would still be appropriate to reward yourself at the end of the month if you wrote 15,ooo words. Likewise, if you plan to write an hour per day and do that for a week, perhaps you’ll give yourself a small reward.

Recap: Goal setting for mental health

Goals can improve your mental health by giving you a direction and something to strive for in life. Often, part of depression is feeling hopeless and lost in life. Goals can help with that.

Make sure you brainstorm ideas for 1-3 goals to work toward at a time. They should be aligned with what you want out of life. It’s important to not overwhelm yourself with too many goals.

Milestones can help you plan ahead, reward yourself, and keep on track to reach your goal.

Habits are things you do at regular intervals (daily, weekly, etc.) that help you to either reach your larger goals or to take care of other areas of your life.

Rewarding yourself for reaching your goals is an important part of the process. It helps motivate you when you may be struggling to find the internal motivation on some days.

Goals have vastly improved my mental health, even though I don’t always reach them. I love to dream big and have stretch goals while also maintaining more realistic expectations of myself.

Allow yourself to dream.

Until next time,

Danna

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5 Tips for Dealing with Depression

Depression can be difficult to cope with. Today, I would like to share with you my top five tips for dealing with depression.

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1. Get the right amount of sleep.

This means getting enough sleep. It also means not letting yourself sleep too much. Staying in bed all day can have a really negative impact on your mood.

You’ll want to have some sort of evening routine to get your brain prepared for sleep. It doesn’t have to be a long routine. I will be talking more about evening routines in a coming post.

Avoiding depression naps will be very important. You don’t have to 100% abstain from napping, but you will want to limit it to when you are actually sleepy and feel like it will help you.

You’ll have to pay attention to your own body to learn when you are tired and need sleep versus when you are experiencing fatigue due to depression.

Getting the right amount of sleep is definitely one of my top tips for dealing with depression. It’s not always going to happen, but it’s important to do your best to stay balanced in this area.

2. Set and work toward goals.

These goals should be yours. They should not be focused on what others want or need from you.

They don’t need to be big either. Sometimes making a to-do list for the day and accomplishing some of it will count.

Your goals may be things you need to do, such as take a shower, do the dishes or take your medication. It’s okay if those feel like really huge goals when you’re depressed.

They may also be goals that you want to do like getting back into an old hobby or starting a new one.

3. Stay in contact with people you care about.

In other words, don’t isolate yourself. This can be super challenging when you feel depressed, which is why it’s one of my tips for dealing with depression.

It’s hard to talk to people when you’re depressed for a couple of reasons. First, you don’t have the energy. Second, you may not want them to see you feeling bad because you feel embarrassed or are worried they will be upset or judge you.

It’s important to challenge the beliefs you have surrounding these ideas. You need to remind yourself that people love you and want you around. It’s okay to be depressed and still be seen.

Try to make sure you’re reaching out to at least one person outside your household every day. If a phone call feels like too much, you can try a text.

Schedule out your social time so you can be properly rested and prepared for it. It’s okay to schedule phone calls with friends ahead of time. If they’re a good friend, they will understand.

4. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.

This is a great strategy when you’re feeling overwhelmed by a large or seemingly large task.

You can use this for things like chores you have to do, school work, or really anything.

This allows you to work for fifteen minutes and then take a break, so you don’t feel worried or overwhelmed by the entire task or set of tasks ahead of you. If fifteen minutes is too much for you at this time, try ten minutes or even five.

Getting anything done is better than getting nothing done.

You can also use this to try out a coping skill. Set your timer (depending on the skill, you may have to adjust the amount of time) and try it out. When your timer ends, evaluate how you’re feeling and if this skill seems to be helping.

If it didn’t help, you can switch to a different coping skill. If it seems to be helping, try to continue doing it for a bit longer.

5. Do things you enjoy without having to earn them.

Doing things you enjoy may sounds simple to some, but it can be really hard when you have depression for a couple of reasons. First, you may struggle to come up with the energy to get started. Second, you may not enjoy things the way you used to.

If you’re struggling with energy, I recommend trying the technique above about setting a fifteen minute timer. It won’t give you more energy, but it may allow you to change your mindset around the activity long enough to try it.

If you aren’t enjoying things, sometimes it’s just a matter of sticking with it. Keep trying to add small enjoyable activities to your days and don’t be afraid to try something new.

Another thing I want you to notice is that I said “without having to earn them”. This means you can’t just use enjoyable activities as a reward. You need to be actively building them into your schedule.

It’s important to allow yourself to do things you enjoy, especially when you’re depressed. Try not to feel guilty about all the “more productive” things you could be doing. Life is not all about who can be the most productive.

Some final thoughts

Depression is difficult to cope with. I hope these tips for dealing with depression will give you some new ideas of things you can do to improve your mood.

Depression is not a moral failure. There is nothing you did to deserve it. It isn’t your fault, but there are things you can do to fight back.

You’re going to get through this.

I hope you enjoyed this post and found it helpful! If you did, please consider leaving a comment or sharing a link on your social media. You can find my contact info here. And don’t forget to sign up for my email list below!

Until next time,

Danna

Don't forget to subscribe to our email list for weekly updates from Musings by Danna, plus 17 free journal prompts for mental health!

Labeling and Mislabeling: The Thinking Errors Series Part 9

Today, I will be discussing the thinking error of labeling and mislabeling. If you’re just joining me in this series, please check out its first installment. It’s on all-or-nothing thinking and it defines thinking errors. You can find it here.

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Labeling and mislabeling

In the thinking error of labeling and mislabeling, you assign negative labels to yourself and others.

This label tends to be based on one negative detail. It is often a form of overgeneralization.

Related article: Overgeneralization

When you assign these negative labels to yourself, it can increase feelings of depression and decrease self-esteem. When these labels are applied to others, it can leave you frustrated with them.

How to recognize labeling and mislabeling

Labeling doesn’t have certain words that it always uses. There is a way I have been able to recognize it, though. If your thought could be reworded without changing the meaning to say, “I did ‘x’, therefore I am ‘y’,” then you are using labeling and mislabeling.

If applied to others, it would be, “They did ‘x’, therefore they are ‘y’.”

Here are some examples:

I lost that game, so I am a loser.
Because I forgot to call her, I am a terrible son.
He cried about that movie because he’s a crybaby.
I lost my keys. I must be so irresponsible!

Ways to overcome labeling and mislabeling

This thinking error can be a challenge to overcome, but it is worth the effort. Try the tips below if you’re stuck on ways to challenge these thoughts.

So what?

When you have the thought rearranged as “I did ‘x’, therefore I am ‘y'” , break it down. “I forgot to call.” So what? Does that really say anything about your character?

Most likely, the things you are thinking you are terrible for are not as big of a deal as you think they are.

Conversely, consider this the next time you are thinking this way about someone else. Are they being labeled too harshly?

Self-esteem

When you are applying this thinking error to yourself regularly, you are probably doing so because you struggle with your self-esteem.

Try to find ways to boost your self-esteem so that you still feel okay about yourself when things go wrong. Give yourself reasons to celebrate by finding things you can succeed at.

And remember, it is okay to fail sometimes.

I hope you enjoyed the 9th installment of my series on thinking errors! I can’t wait to get the final one up for you later this week and show you what else I have in store. As always, please comment or share a link on social media if you liked this post. If you want to contact me, you can find my info here.

Until next time,

Danna

Don't forget to subscribe to our email list for weekly updates from Musings by Danna, plus 17 free journal prompts for mental health!

Overgeneralization: The Thinking Errors Series Part 8

Wow, it’s already part eight of The Thinking Errors Series! Today, I will be discussing overgeneralization. In case you’re new to the series, here is a link to the first part of the series, on all-or-nothing thinking, where thinking errors are defined.

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Overgeneralization

When overgeneralizing, people tend to be very broad with their statements. They generalize one negative experiences to all experiences.

Essentially, one piece or a few pieces of negative information are taken to mean everything is negative.

This can increase feelings of depression and anxiety.

How to recognize overgeneralization

Overgeneralization is fairly easy to spot. The harder part is to admit to yourself that you’re doing it, and then try to change it.

Overgeneralization involves words such as “never” and “always”. It can also include “everything” or “nothing”.

Some examples include:

I never meet my goals.
Because I didn’t write as much as I wanted to last month, I will never be able to.
I always say the wrong thing during work meetings.
I always fail my quizzes.

Ways to overcome overgeneralization

Just because overgeneralization is one of the easier thinking errors to recognize, that doesn’t mean it’s always simple to challenge these thoughts. However, if you keep working at it, it will get easier.

Circle the word

I wrote about this one in my post on should statements, which you can find here.

This skill involves journaling. You will journal out your thoughts when you catch yourself using overgeneralization. Then, go back and circle the places you used “always” or “never”.

Once you’ve recognized all the ways you are using overgeneralization, you can challenge these thoughts.

Write down a healthier thought to replace each of your negative thoughts.

Examine the facts

You can also take a moment to review if your negative thought is actually 100% accurate.

Have you really always said the wrong thing in work meetings? Was there ever a time where you said something useful? Even if there was a single time where you have said something that was acceptable, that disproves your negative thought.

Practice self compassion

In other words, be kinder to yourself. Your value is not tied to your level of success.

One mistake doesn’t mean a lifetime of mistakes.

Just because something has been bad in the past doesn’t mean it always will be. Trust that things can get better.

I hope you enjoyed part eight of The Thinking Errors series. Please let me know in the comments down below or share this link on social media. You can also contact me here.

Until next time,

Danna

Don't forget to subscribe to our email list for weekly updates from Musings by Danna, plus 17 free journal prompts for mental health!

Magnification and Minimization: The Thinking Errors Series Part 7

I can’t believe we are already on part seven of The Thinking Errors Series! Today, I will be discussing magnification and minimization. If you’re new to the series, check out part one on all-or-nothing thinking here to learn more about thinking errors.

Magnification and minimization

With magnification, you are overly concerned with an insignificant event. You are viewing it as more important than it actually is.

In the case of minimization, just the opposite is true. You are placing too little value on something positive that actually matters.

People may magnify small mistakes. They may also minimize positive traits they have.

Minimization can make you feel insignificant because you are saying your good traits are unimportant. Magnification can lead to feeling out of control because you feel that the world is crashing down around you.

How to recognize magnification and minimization

Minimization often contains the keywords “only” or “just”. These thoughts may also contain phrases such as “no big deal”.

Magnification doesn’t really have keywords, but it can be recognized by the fact that the event causing the thought was not a big event.

Here are some examples:

That quiz was only worth 20% of my grade, so failing it isn’t a big deal.
Just because he hung out with me after work, that doesn’t suggest he might want to be friends.
I lost my necklace and now everything is terrible.
I didn’t finish my homework last night so now I am going to fail the class and never get into graduate school.

Ways to overcome magnification and minimization

If you want to develop healthier thoughts, it’s important to learn how to cope with and challenge unhealthy thoughts, such as magnification and minimization.

Ask yourself, “And then what would happen?”

This is a great strategy for magfication. When you catch yourself thinking this way, ask yourself what would happen next.

It may be a bit distressing in the beginning, because if something bad were to happen, things may not be okay immediately. But then what would happen next?

The important thing to get out of this exercise is that things turn out okay eventually.

Compliments

For minimization, it’s very important to learn to take a compliment.

If you want to read more about that, you can find more information in my post on disqualifying the positive under the section titled “Ways to overcome disqualifying the positive”. Find it here.

Make a list

Make a list of your positive traits. Try to think of at least ten nonphysical qualities.

Remember these when you feel like minimizing your positive qualities.

You can also use this when you catch yourself magnifying a situation by reminding yourself that you have positive qualities to help you get through the situation.

I hope you enjoyed the seventh installment of The Thinking Errors Series. As always, please comment down below or share a link to social media if you did. You can also contact me here.

Until next time,

Danna

Don't forget to subscribe to our email list for weekly updates from Musings by Danna, plus 17 free journal prompts for mental health!

Jumping to Conclusions: The Thinking Errors Series Part 6

Today, I will be writing about jumping to conclusions for part six of my series on thinking errors. If you are new to the series and unfamiliar with thinking errors, please check out the first post in this series on all-or-nothing thinking here.

Jumping to conclusions

Jumping to conclusions can be broken down into two main thinking errors: mind reading and fortune telling.

Overall, jumping to conclusions means that you are drawing negative conclusions about something without evidence to support your conclusion.

In mind reading, you assume that someone has a negative belief about you. You don’t investigate to see if this is the case, but just believe it to be true.

In fortune telling, you believe the future is destined to be bad. Even though you cannot prove it, you accept this imagined future as a fact.

How to recognize jumping to conclusions

You can recognize jumping to conclusions because you are assuming something about the future or someone else’s thoughts that you could not possibly know for sure.

Here are some examples:

My friends secretly hate me.
I am going to fail my test.
My boyfriend thinks I am a downer.
I am not going to finish my work assignment on time.

Ways to overcome jumping to conclusions

Jumping to conclusions can be a challenge to overcome. You want to hold onto your beliefs because overcoming them can be temporarily difficult or painful, even if it is for the best long term. Here are some ways you can overcome jumping to conclusions.

Thought stopping

Thought stopping is the practice of saying “no” to your negative thoughts. You may have to do this a lot in order to get the thought to stop coming back up in the beginning.

It’s okay to tell yourself that you don’t know the answer for sure yet, so you don’t need to let your thoughts take over and pretend they do.

Remember past experiences

Remember times before where things worked out differently than you thought they would.

This will show you that things may turn out differently than what you are expecting.

For example, maybe in the past, you were worried you would fail a test, but you ended up doing alright on it. This is evidence that things can work out differently than how you expect.

What is the benefit?

You really can’t tell what will happen in the future, so while your negative thought could turn out to be true, what good does it do you to dwell in that negative space until you know?

The best use of your time and thoughts is not to spend time worrying over how things will turn out or whether people like you. Your time is better spent trying to do and be the best you can.

I hope you enjoyed part six of The Thinking Errors Series. As always, please let me know in the comments down below, or you can find my contact info here.

Until next time,

Danna

Don't forget to subscribe to our email list for weekly updates from Musings by Danna, plus 17 free journal prompts for mental health!

Should Statements: The Thinking Errors Series Part 5

Today is the fifth installment of The Thinking Errors Series. I will be discussing should statements. If you are new to this series and/or unfamiliar with thinking errors, please check out this post, about all-or-nothing thinking, where I cover what thinking errors are.

Should statements

Should statements are pretty much exactly what they sound like. They are statements using the word “should” or other similar words that make you feel guilty.

Should statements have a tendency to cloud our vision of ourselves and the world because we are trying to get things to be a certain way, rather than just accepting them for what they are.

They can make us feel like failures and make us view others with frustration when they aren’t doing things the way we think they “should.”

How to recognize should statements

Should statements are fairly easy to recognize because they contain certain words such as “should”, “must”, or “ought”.

The following are some examples:

I should have worked harder on that assignment.
I shouldn’t have failed that test.
He ought not be acting that way.
I must exercise daily.

Ways to overcome should statements

Overcoming should statements can be a challenge, but it’s important for your mental health to do your best to work through these thoughts.

Radical acceptance

Radical acceptance is the concept of accepting things exactly as they are without trying to change them. It means that you stop trying to challenge reality and accept it.

This can help with should statements because instead of thinking of how things should be, you are accepting them for what they are.

I will write future posts about radical acceptance.

Journaling

Journal out your thoughts. Every time you use words like “should”, “shouldn’t”, “must”, or “ought”, circle them. This will allow you to start recognizing your should statements.

Once you have recognized them, you can decide if they are distressing you in some way. Maybe they are making you feel angry or guilty.

If so, then it’s time to challenge that thought and replace it with a healthier one. Write those healthier thoughts down too.

Ask yourself “Why?”

This technique works especially well for when you are applying a should statement to yourself, such as the example above stating, “I must exercise daily.”

Why do you have this rule for yourself? Does it benefit you to be so strict about it that you feel guilty? Does everyone else apply the same rule to themselves? If you know someone who doesn’t, does that say something bad about them?

If it doesn’t, then it probably means there’s nothing wrong with you for not following your rule perfectly, so you can let go of your should statement.

I hope you enjoyed part five of The Thinking Errors Series. As always, please let me know in the comment down below or find my contact info here.

Until next time,

Danna

Don't forget to subscribe to our email list for weekly updates from Musings by Danna, plus 17 free journal prompts for mental health!

Emotional Reasoning: The Thinking Errors Series Part 4

Today, I will be talking to you about the thinking error of emotional reasoning. Never heard of a thinking error? Check back to this post, about another thinking error called all-or-nothing thinking, to learn more about thinking errors.

Emotional reasoning

In emotional reasoning, people assume that the way they feel reflects the way things really are. They assume this without stopping to observe the facts.

In other words, emotional reasoning leads people to believe that what they are thinking is true because they feel it to be true.

This allows people to believe their negative thoughts are confirmed to be true simply because their feelings match that thought.

How to recognize emotional reasoning

Recognizing emotional reasoning can be harder because it doesn’t tend to have the same tell-tale words that many thinking errors do. For example, the word “so” may also be used in a perfectly logical statement, therefore that word alone does not indicate this thinking error.

The way I have been taught to recognize it is if your thought could be rewritten as, “I feel x so y must be true,” then you are using emotional reasoning.

Here are some examples:

I feel sad, therefore I must be weak.
I feel so embarrassed, so I must be stupid.
Because I feel angry, I’m right.
Since I feel upset, I must be pathetic.

Ways to overcome emotional reasoning

Once you learn to recognize emotional reasoning, you can overcome it. This will allow you to think more balanced thoughts.

Emotions vs. facts

It’s important to distinguish between emotions and facts. What is the physical proof that what you are feeling to be true is actually true? Could it be false?

Consider the statement, “Because I feel angry, I’m right.” Is being angry indisputable evidence that you are correct in the situation? It is not.

Maybe you are right, but you’ll have to look at the facts of the situation to figure it out.

Allow the feeling to pass

Practice mindfulness techniques, if you know any. It’s okay that you are feeling the way that you do. If you can’t bring yourself to prove it wrong at the time, just sit with it.

Don’t try to either hold onto it or push it away. It will eventually pass because feelings change over time.

You can also use techniques such as meditation if this thought is causing you great distress or anxiety.

A few final thoughts

Your feelings are not facts, nor do your feelings have anything to do with your value as a person.

Your feelings do not prove you are right in the current situation, nor do they prove that what you are worried about is going to happen.

Remembering these things can help you work through emotional reasoning.

I hope you enjoyed the fourth installment of The Thinking Errors Series. As always, let me know if you did in the comments below. You can find my contact info here.

Until next time,

Danna

Don't forget to subscribe to our email list for weekly updates from Musings by Danna, plus 17 free journal prompts for mental health!